Often in a Quaker meeting we here the term "the gathered meeting". This often conveys a sense of being drawn together as one body as well as feeling drawn together in God. For me, it always feels like those separate pieces of my life...those cluttered areas of my life...are pulled together into one complete whole and this "complete whole" is what it feels like to be centered.
Yesterday in meeting I read the following prayer as a way to call us to worship:
"O God, gather me
to be with you
as you are with me.
Keep me in touch with myself
with my needs,
with my anxieties
my angers
my pains
my corruptions
that I may claim them as my own
rather than blame them on someone else.
O Lord, deepen my wounds
into wisdom
shape my weaknesses
into compassion
gentle my envy
into enjoyment
my fear into trust
my guilt into honest
O God, gather me
to be with you
as you are with me."
(Ted Loder, Guerrilas of Grace)
As I shared that prayer yesterday on more than one occasion, I was continually struck by the line, "Keep my in touch with myself, my need, my anxieties, my angers, my pains, my corruptions, that I may claim them as my own rather then blame them on someone else."
It is so easy for me to blame others or circumstances for how I am feeling, what I am needing, what I am anxious about, and what angers me. Often I refuse to own these parts of myself and look for ways to pass the blame or at least dump the "emotional load" on others. Part of my growing edge is to not only be in touch with myself at the deepest level but to also own myself to the point that I own my condition and accept responsibility for it. Only then will I truly know what it feels like to have a gathered soul.
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